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Testimonials |
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Hung: So what am I looking for again? This doesn't seem right to me. I'd rather go extinct than try to figure this whole "sex" thing out. Ho: You're kidding me right? It's back there, see. C'mon, it's not that complicated. All you need is an instructional video from PandaPorn.org. |
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Phuk Yoo: Everythign we know we've learned from PandaPorn.org. Artificial insemination is for suckers. Our tour bus has hosted more panda conceptions than any Chinese zoo's fertility lab. Our band will single-handedly save the panda from extinction as long as our band manager keeps us stocked with champagne and PandaPorn. |
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Yang: Our relationship has never been better. Thank you PandaPorn.org! Ever since we started watching your instructional videos our sex life has really heated up. We have sex nearly three times a year now! Poon: Finally, with your help, Yang has learned to stop putting things in the wrong holes. My nose has never been happier. |
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Kobe: I'm sorry that I cheated on my wife. I read on PandaPorn.org that pandas are having a hard time getting pregnant. I wanted to help out. If I'd gone to college I would have known that pandas and humans are genetically incompatible. They have 42 chromosomes and we have 46. Who knew? Wife: I did, you panda-humpin' son-of-a-bitch! |
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Wi: PandaPorn.org has made a new panda out of me. My wife just gave birth to our panda record breaking second baby! We couldn't be happier. Sorry to cut this short, gotta get to work so I can feed my family. Bamboo doesn't grow on trees! |
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Dong: I've starred in two PandaPorn.org movies. It's not all fun and games though baby. Pretending to be attracted to female pandas and getting it up once a week is a tough way to earn a buck. I work hard though, I'm the most prolific stud in the industry having done the deed almost eight times! |
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Zho: Like most pandas, I'm gay and I could care less about preserving my species. My lifepartner and I use PandaPorn.org as a bedroom mood setter. Bruce: Any chance you'll be adding zebra scat flix sometime soon? |
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Ji: I have trouble distinguishing female panda genitalia from trees. Let me tell ya, chimpunk teeth and bark abrasions aren't what I'm aching for. With the help of educational films from PandaPorn.org, I'm getting fewer splinters and more hot lady panda ass. |
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Bling: This site be hotter that a northwestern Chinese rain forest! Yo panda playaz, PandaPorn.org gots me schooled in all da latest moves. I'd like to send a shout-out to Gao Gao at the San Diego zoo. Boy, if you eva bust dat freaky joint come lay some panda pipe on me. |
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Bung: I've always been a novice when it comes to the lady pandas. In fact, I was 27 years old before I even realized that there are lady pandas. But with the help of PandaPorn.org, I'm learning the moves that'll boost my confidence and put me on the top of my game. If you don't believe me, check out this fine lady I'm taking home tonight. ?: Stop! Ouch! I'm a boy! Get off of me! |
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Wang: Are we done yet? I'm so exhausted. I'm not a machine, honey. Jesus, we've been at this for almost 10 seconds now. I can't live up to the 30 second scenes I watch on PandaPorn.org. Sometimes I think it'd be easier to just go extinct. |
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